Stitches

[complicatedliar]

It had taken every trick in Loki's considerable repertoire to arrive in Asgard ahead of Brokk and Eitri. As he strode down the halls toward his Odin's throne room, he tucked his hands in his pockets to hide their shaking. He fought to control his breathing, to appear calm and in control. The effect was ruined by the tattered state of his coattails, by the wildness of his hair, and the vivid streak of blood that had run from his forehead and past the corner of his eye.

He would explain it, all of it to Father. Well, all that he safely could. Thor's part in the escapade, he would leave out. As much as it gave him pleasure to tweak his brother whenever possible, he owed Thor this one and he would keep his peace. But Father would understand, would no doubt see the cleverness in the plan, would appreciate the gifts he had brought back in addition to the newly-rescued Mjolnir...

The throne room was filled to the point of bursting, though that was not unusual for the day and time. The court turned to look at him, his footfalls loud and hollow, but he told himself that, too, was not unusual.

Then across the crowd of gathered Aesir, he spotted the dark, stumpy forms of the dwarven brothers. His breath caught in his throat with shock, and there was a slight stutter in his step, but otherwise his expression was well-schooled enough to not show his dismay.

Head high, he walked to the steps of the throne and dropped to one knee. "Father, I have won gifts for you, and for the Queen." With a clever movement of his hands he turned the armlet, the golden boar, from the pockets in space he'd used to hide them, and set them on the floor. Mjolnir, he still kept hidden, the titanic weight a strain on his magic that was beginning to make his head pound. He imagined that the dwarves had the common sense to not mention Mjolnir as part of the wager and spoils he had won; surely they must have kept that silent if they were playing for Odin's sympathy.

"Loki." Odin's voice rolled like thunder. It was not the tone that Loki had hoped to hear his name spoken in. "I have been told that you won these gifts dishonorably."

Loki looked up, meeting his father's eye. He saw nothing there but a mirror, that showed a pale but resolute image. "I would beg to differ. I promised them my head, but gave them no leave to touch my neck. It is no fault of mine if the good dwarves did not fully consider the terms."

Brokk cursed him; Eitri grabbed his brother's arm. "We no longer desire his head. We accept your judgment on this matter," the dwarf said.

Loki's eyebrows went up. "Judgment?"

Odin stood. "You have treated friends of Asgard falsely, Loki. It is luck for all of us that they have accepted this, and ask but a pittance in return. The people of other realms might not be so kind." Odin's voice became cold. "Words have as much power as actions, Prince. And you must consider your words, and your wagers more carefully for what they could cause."

Loki bowed his head. "Of course. I understand."

"I don't think that you do." Odin said. Loki looked up sharply to see him wave a guard over. The man held a tray, with a spool of coarse black twine and a needle. "Brokk and Eitri have proposed a punishment I find most fitting. Your words have caused much trouble, Loki. It would be best if you take time to think before speaking so glibly again." The court dissolved in an uproar.

It didn't have to be spelled out any further than that. Loki swallowed hard, but he could also see no path of escape in his father's face. And he refused to beg shamefully in front of the entire court. His head felt strange, light and far away. "I understand."

It was only then that he realized that the noise of the court was not disagreement or protest.

They were laughing.

Comments

[thunders]

Loki would fix this. That was what Thor had thought, arriving in Asgard ahead of his brother, who had stayed behind to sort out the whole affair. His lip was split, a bruise darkening over his left temple, but it was not unusual for Thor, who fought so often. His father had not asked him where he had gone, and instead had simply invited him to sit in court.

Thor wondered if he knew, but he thought that Odin would be more furious if that were the case. He had not been meant to lift Mjolnir yet, but it had called to him. It was meant for him, and when he had tried it in the vault its weight in his hands had fit so he wondered how he had gone so long knowing the lack of it. Its power filled him like a storm beneath his skin. He knew he had no equal, and then he had gone out to prove it so.

And instead he proved it wrong. In one fell move, he had lost Asgard's greatest treasure, and the part of himself that had awakened with it.

Desperate, he had gone to the person he trusted most in the nine realms: his brother. He hadn't even the presence of mind to hide his horror. And Loki, always clever, had promised to set things right. Thor had belied him capable of it until the moment the dwarves swept into court, and he had listened from his place with mounting horror as they decided Loki's fate and breathed not a word of his part in all this.

Still, he thought, his brother was too clever. It would not come to this. He listened until his brother fell silent and the court began to roar, and then he simply could not bear to sit and wait and listen any longer. The flash of the needle set his heart racing more fiercely than the battle in which he'd first wielded Mjolnir.

"Father, wait. Please." Perhaps the word caught Odin off guard, though it was drowned out by the roar of the crowd. He didn't even remember rising to his feet, but now he stood between Loki and Odin -- and the guard presenting the needles. "You cannot -- This is not justice."

"Thor," His father's voice made him cold all over. Though the word was not loud, he felt the weight Odin's gaze bearing down on him.

"It was not Loki's wager that started all of this, it was mine." Thor continued hurriedly, so that it came almost all at once in the same breath. "I --" Odin's staff hit the ground with a boom that seemed to echo in his bones. The silence that fell after it was deafening.

"Thor Odinson," Odin repeated. "Do not dishonor your brother further. I know all that transpires in these realms. Loki will face his punishment," Odin paused, his eye narrowing just a fraction. "And you move unless you wish to administer it."

Thor could not speak. He could not even breathe. The inevitability of this seemed overwhelming. He did not move or look at Loki. He nodded once.

The court came to life once more, cheering for their champion.

[complicatedliar]

If looks were capable of killing, Thor by all rights should have been dead. Loki glared at his brother as Thor spoke, and then he would not shut up and Loki jumped to his feet, pulling himself to his full height. "I do not need the protection of my brother! You know what I have done!" he shouted, trying to drown out Thor's speaking of a wager.

Loki too, was silenced by Gungnir striking the ground. Odin looked at him, and cold washed down Loki's spine, because he saw that his father knew.

But he was accepting the lie all the same.

Is this what it means to be king? Loki thought numbly. Is this--? But he dropped back down to his knees, bowing his head again, as Thor nodded.

He hated the court for their cheering. He hated Thor, for not keeping his mouth shut, for agreeing to do this. And somehow, it just seemed to make everyone love him more.

The back of his throat tasted bitter. Loki clenched his hands into fists so they would not shake, and waited. There was nothing else he could do.

[thunders]

His father knew, and it made no difference at all. Loki had cheated the Dwarves, it was true, but he had still acted with more wisdom and honor than Thor... and for that he would pay the price. For trying to save his brother from his own foolishness. The people would only love Loki less, and now, Thor even more.

He did not understand how or why such a thing could be. It was not fair, and it was not right. He felt sick to his stomach with helplessness. But no one else could do this. No one in court would try to be kind, and he could not imagine entrusting the task to Sif or any of the Warriors Three. It was not for them. He knew from his father's face that this was his punishment too.

He would have preferred to have his own lips sewn shut.

Thor dropped to his knees before his brother, unable to support his own weight any longer. The guard handed him a the needle, already threaded with twine, and Thor took it from him with an unsteady hand. His mouth felt dry, his stomach tight.

He touched the side of Loki's face, as if meaning to hold him in place. His brother's skin burned against his palm and the pad of his thumb as he brushed it once across Loki's lips. "Brother..." I cannot.

[complicatedliar]

Loki squeezed his eyes tightly shut for a moment. He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly through his nose, and forced himself to look at Thor through clear eyes.

What he saw would not do. Their course was set. They each had their part to play now, and there were no choices left to be made. He uncurled his fingers and grabbed Thor's breastplate at the shoulders, jerking him forward slightly. Someone behind him whooped, perhaps supposing that Loki would try to fight his brother or something similarly stupid.

"Shut up," he whispered fiercely, for Thor's ears alone. He had to keep his words short and fast, hidden from the court that watched them so intently. "Steel yourself, brother. Your empathy does me no favors." He gave him the tiniest of shakes, curling his fingers tightly around Thor's armor.

Blood pounded in his temples, the unending hum of Mjolnir a steady tone in the back of his head, draining his magic away. He didn't have much time before he wouldn't be able to hold the damned thing any more; it didn't want to be in any kind of proximity to him.

"Now," he hissed, then shut his mouth firmly. There was more that he could say, but there was no time. Perhaps it showed in his eyes. You are not the only son of Odin. I am a man and I will take my punishment. Fairness is the fantasy of a child.

[thunders]

Thor agreed with the first part, more or less, but he knew that he should remind her again that they had avoided a worse punishment yet. If the dwarfs had attempted to take Loki's head after all, Thor would have taken theirs, and that of every man or woman who tried thereafter. He wasn't quite so foolish as to not know where that would lead.

But seeing Sif's hands clenched in her lap, and the tenderness with which she stroked Loki's brow, he stilled his tongue. He didn't really disagree.

At the question of safety, Thor rolled the crystal in his hand. His hesitance was evidence enough of his thoughts - not that he would change his mind, but that he was truly considering how best to go about this. Acting rashly had always been the cause of their trouble, and Loki's quick mind had often been the solution, but without that Thor could only do his best to see that his brother came to no more harm.

"He asked us not to. Loki can't be punished for something he had no part in, can he?" His voice wavered on the question.

Thor raised his eyebrows at her. If the situation were any less dire, he may have laughed outright. Lethe and graceful, yes, but delicate she was not or neither of them would have quite so many bruises to show for their matches. Still, she had a point. "That may be so. However... You have already broken his command in coming here to aid us, and in bringing this. The Allfather is not so foolish as the rest of the court." He dropped a hand on her shoulder. "I know that you wish to protect us Sif, but you have done too much already. I am prepared to accept whatever punishment he sees fit, so long as it is only I."

And with that he crumbled the crystal over Loki's mouth, hoping the small piece would be enough to undo the worst of it.

[shield_maiden]

She watched him crumble the crystal in his palm, feeling a mixture of worry and relief. "I still do not feel as if I have done enough," she admitted, her voice a breath above a whisper as she watched the skin slowly knit. As if speaking louder might draw the Allfather's attention and wrath down on all of them for their disobedience. That did not mean she regretted her actions - she would do it again, and more, if given the choice.

As the last of the crystal dissolved, she gave a quiet sigh, shoulders relaxing slightly as the magic did its work and the worst of the wounds sealed and much of the bleeding ceased. She retrieved the cloth from earlier, wetting it once more and gently cleaning the blood from Loki's face. She hoped his brew was potent enough that it wouldn't disturb his slumber, but she thought it better to try this now, rather than when it had dried and caked and would tug on the skin.

"Hopefully when he wakes, he will feel a little better," Sif commented softly, taking care as she worked. "Although I imagine he'll be in a black mood for a while."

[complicatedliar]

Loki did not stir as the crystal did its work. He mumbled something incoherent when Sif began to wash the blood from around his mouth. The far-off sensation of cool and wet and his face being moved about a little was enough to make him drag his eyes open again, though if he comprehended anything at all he saw was anyone's guess. There was certainly nothing sharp or even terribly intelligent in his gaze when he looked at her. His eyes rolled up for a moment to favor Thor with a look of equal incomprehension.

After another wordless mumble he fumbled for Sif's hand with both of his. Disregarding the damp cloth she held, he nuzzled her hand for a moment, lips brushing against her palm. Then he dragged her hand down to his chest and cradled it with a surprisingly firm grip. Seemingly satisfied by this, he sighed deeply and closed his eyes again.

[thunders]

Thor nodded a little, watching a she cleaned away the blood with his hands curled at his sides. It looked less horrific with the gore gone and the wounds partly healed beneath, but it would scar still and there was little to be done for that. He didn't carry healing crystals in the halls of his own home.

He tensed as Loki began to stir, but when his brother's eyes met his he saw nothing there but confusion. Perhaps Loki thought he was dreaming. When he took Sif's hand Thor's eyebrows rose again, then drew together, a small frown tugging at his lips. There was a spark of something there he didn't quite understand; mixed relief, surprise, and something sharper that hurt.

Thor folded his arms across his chest and turned to Sif. "Perhaps you should lie with him. I don't think he plans to return your hand to you until he wakes."

[complicatedliar]

Loki woke sluggishly, his thoughts a stirred-up mess, though he wasn't entirely certain why at first. The potion he used for his headaches often had that effect. But his lips hurt - though somehow that didn't seem to be enough - and he could tell he wasn't alone in bed either.

Which was strange. Very, very strange.

He opened his eyes and found himself staring into his brother's face. That brought the events of the last day back in a rush, the visceral sensations first. The prick of the needle, the pull of twine, it seemed just as real now. His breath caught in his throat and he started to clench his hands, only his hands weren't empty.

He glanced down carefully, moving his head only the bare minimum. It took him a moment to identify the hand that he held as Sif's. That explained the other person at his back, the other set of slow, even breathing.

Loki's heart fluttered with a strange sort of panic that no amount of rational thought seemed to calm. Still, he managed to keep his breathing something resembling even as he carefully released Sif's hand.

What were they doing here? Why hadn't they left? What--

I don't want to... I can't...

He needed to think. He couldn't think, not like this, not with Sif unaccountably settled in against his back, not staring into Thor's sleeping face, making him unable to consider anything but the feeling of his own skin being sewed together. Loki carefully probed at his lips with one hand, but the stitches were indeed gone, and the damage didn't feel as great as it should have.

What did they do?

He needed to think.

He closed his eyes and forced the rising panic in his chest down. Magic required calm and focus, after all. It felt sluggish after the strain of carrying Mjolnir so far for Thor - damn you - but slowly he was able to build up the appropriate field around himself. Slowly, because he didn't want to disturb them, didn't want to wake them, he sank down through the mattress until he reached the floor. He rolled out from under the bed and scrambled to his feet with exaggerated care. His coat and boots were a crumpled heap on the floor. He took them up, straining to use a little bit of magic to make the movement silent.

Then he fled - even he could pretend it was nothing else - by passing through the locked door.

And then he has his panic attack in privacy

[complicatedliar]

Loki could only guess what kind of state he was in, and he could barely restrain himself from simply running. Every too-rapid beat of his heart told him that was what he should do, but he knew if he gave into that urge, he would have truly unmanned himself. He kept his pace a rapid, even walk, going deeper into the residential halls of the palace. At last he came to a narrow, little used stairway that had once been for servants. He took the stairs up, then took two hallways over until he found a tiny door hidden behind a hanging.

It was not his best hiding place, and perhaps even one that Sif and Thor knew, but it was the closest, and it had a change of clothes in it and a few other things to go with all of the books. He slipped in the door and pressed one hand against it putting up a simple ward. The room was dim, but good enough for now thanks to a tiny window in the wall that caught the morning sunlight.

He dropped his boots on the floor and hung his coat on a hook, then located the small, cloudy mirror that hung in one corner. He forced himself to look at his face, the mess that was his mouth.

For a moment panic and sickness made him dizzy. He had to rest one hand on the wall, remind himself that it was solid. Think.

It was plain that they'd used the healing stone on him when he was sleeping. For all that it was a gesture of love - or at the very least guilt - it felt like betrayal. His heart sank, and he had to swallow against the sudden feeling of sickness. His breath came far too rapidly.

He forced himself to breathe in a regular rhythm again, somehow, counting seconds and heartbeats. Then with surprisingly steady hands, he stripped off his clothes and folded them so the worst of the bloodstains didn't show. There was a fresh set of clothes that he changed in to, his fingers mostly steady, though he fumbled twice with the fastener on his collar. Then he pulled a basin off the shelf and filled it with water. With care, he cleaned the rest of the traces of blood from his face, using the mirror to guide his hand.

The wounds were not as bad as they should have been; they were mostly healed, actually. But they would still scar. Loki stared into the mirror. He was not overly vain like Frandral, but he did not wish to have scars as a living reminder of... everything. He searched through the shelves of the room until he found another chunk of crystal to use.

That fixed the rest of it, though there was a tiny, white scar just above his upper lip. It would have to do.

With that taken care of, he had nothing left but to think of the real problem, that Sif and Thor had interfered, that he had let them do it, which was even worse, counter to Odin's orders. He should go to his father, he thought, and tell him all that had happened. He could twist the words to place the blame on his own head, and...

Panic surged through him again at that thought. He cursed himself as a coward, but that didn't stop his hands from shaking, didn't stop dizzyness from overtaking him. He sat abruptly on the only chair in the little room, his face in his hands.

Move, he told himself. Quickly, they will wake soon, and make a mess of everything again.

He couldn't move. His feet felt strange and small and far away, his hands had gone numb. His stomach cramped; if there'd been anything in it he would have vomitted again. Instead, he could only rock back and forth around that pain.

He needed to plan, needed to decide what he would say to his father. But all he could think of was the prick of the needle and Thor's steady blue eyes.

[thunders]

Thor's hand curled tightly in the empty sheet before he woke with a start. He rarely remembered his dreams, but the impression of them often bled into the waking world, and this was no exception. He was already half-sitting, Loki's name on his lips, but the dark eyes that met his own didn't belong to his brother.

Thor threw the covers back, already leaving the bed to fetch the pieces of his armor. He couldn't be here anymore. Far from feeling rested, there was a tightness in his chest. The memory of rough twine and flesh against his fingertips was so vivid he fumbled to right his armor, as if blood still made his hands clumsy and slick. He had meant to leave before Loki woke. He should have done so.

"You're going to search for him." It fell just short of being a question. "If you find him... Stay with him. He shouldn't be alone."

She would fare better at the search without his aid.

[shield_maiden]

Sif waited until Thor had left before she took a moment to tidy herself. It was rather pointless – there was blood on her clothing and she was wrinkled from sleeping in what she wore. But she paused to wash her hands and face in what was left of the clean water, then quickly tugged her disheveled braid free and fixed it in a quick ponytail atop her head. Perhaps if no one looked too closely, they wouldn’t notice anything suspicious as she left Loki’s rooms this morning.

Slipping out of the prince’s quarters, she did her best to slip unnoticed from the royal wing of personal rooms. Managing to make it out without being spotted – as far as she could tell – Sif took a deep breath and started the morning’s daunting task.

Loki had nooks and crannies and hidey holes hidden all over the palace, and while she knew of a good many of them, by no means was she foolish enough to think she knew all of them. So she started systematically searching for him in all the usual places, intending to scour the palace from top to bottom until she found him.

A good while later, she was almost ready to give up when a crooked tapestry caught her attention from the corner of her eye and she paused, the sight of it sparking a memory. Changing course, she strode down the servants hall and slid the hanging aside, finding the tiny door hidden behind it. A push got her nowhere, but the tell-tale tingle of magic against her palm told her she might have found something after all. Sif frowned and tried the handle again, but this time it turned, as if whatever had rejected her first attempt had spent itself in the process and she pushed the door open and climbed inside, closing and locking the door behind her, just in case.

The room was small, holding only a small narrow bed, a few scattered pieces of furniture… and Loki. Sif crossed her arms, blocking the doorway as she regarded him impassively.

“You’re a very difficult person to locate sometimes, you know that?”

[complicatedliar]

[OOC NOTE: AU only]

To a certain extent, the sharp, purely mental feeling of his ward snapping was a welcome distraction. It gave himself something else he had to think about. His head felt strange and light as he bolted to his feet. His hands tingled with numbness.

He covered the few steps to the room's tiny window and pushed his hand against it, but he couldn't seem to grasp at his magic now. It felt far away and wavering, faintly unreal in the same way his body did. He would not be able to simply pass through the wall to escape again.

Then he heard the sound of the door handle turning. He turned toward it, trying to compose his face. He felt uncertain of the results, because nothing felt right. There was a brief stab of relief when it was Sif who entered the room rather than his brother, but it was still a massive problem. Because she had interfered just as surely as Thor, though at least she hadn't been he one to do the deed.

The sound of the locking mechanism engaging put another shot of panic through him; he barely restrained himself from physically jerking at the sound. He had that much control at least.

But he was unaware just how little control he had over his own face at that moment. While his expression was fixed in something like its normal polite mask, he was pale to the point of taking on an unhealthy green tinge, his eyes far wider than they should have been. His hands fluttered against the front of his coat like two wounded birds, and he didn't notice because he couldn't quite feel them any more.

He was still breathing far too quickly, he noted in the detached, far-off rational corner of his mind. He somehow forced himself to slow for a moment so he could answer Sif in something approaching a normal tone, though the effort made his shoulders shake. "Sorry to have put you to so much trouble." He hadn't wanted to be found at all, of course. But if Sif had located him, that meant it was already too late for a great many things. "If you'll excuse me, I probably ought to go speak with my father now. I didn't realize the hour was growing so late." The words felt strange as they passed through his mouth, like they didn't actually belong to him.

[shield_maiden]

He looked terrible and she was honestly surprised he was even upright at this point. Her lips turned downward in a worried frown as she took a slow step towards him. He sounded panicky - not that she could blame him - but she didn't understand if she was the cause and why and he looked ready to bolt at any moment. Although where, again she wasn't certain.

"Loki, what's wrong?" she asked, true confusion in her voice as she held out a hand to him, only slightly uncertain. "We woke up this morning and you were gone. You should still be in bed, you look ready to collapse at the lightest brush of wind. I'm sure your father will forgive you a few more hours of recovery. Thor's gone to speak with him anyway."

[complicatedliar]

He tried to step back when she stepped toward him; it was an automatic reaction, a swift jerk of movement that made him step backward into the set of shelves. Books fell over and his shoulders jerked again at the sound, as if he expected something to hit him.

One of Loki's hands moved toward hers, just a tiny spasm of movement, and then he tucked his hands away into his coat, closing his eyes tightly for a moment and trying to just breathe.

He licked his lips, eyes flicking between her hand and the door behind her. "I think that you and my brother have done something very foolish. I..." His words stuttered to a halt, his eyes widening. "Thor's... gone...?"

It was a bigger disaster than he could have thought. It was bad enough, the things that had happened to him. But Thor seemed determined to remove all meaning from it as well, and see him unmanned before their father. What game was his brother playing at? Except it seemed unlikely that Thor would have it as a game, as a way to gain advantage, and that seemed worse somehow.

Thoughts cycling frantically through his head, he tried to lunge past Sif to reach the door. It said a great deal about his mental state that he didn't even consider the use of magic.

[thunders]

Between Loki's room and his own, Thor saw no one, not even servants moving in the great shadows along the walls. He was glad for it when he finally shut the door behind him and caught sight of himself in the mirror. He had tugged on his clothing nearly blind, mind elsewhere, but now he didn't know how he'd failed to notice the large blood stain dried nearly black on his sleeve, smaller drops and flecks of it on his armor and in his skin.

He wanted to bathe but he didn't have time for it. If not for the blood, he wouldn't have bothered to change either, but he couldn't -- he couldn't see the Allfather like this.

He took the time to wash the blood from his hands and rake his fingers through his hair. What would he tell his father? The truth? He had thought of little besides putting an end to Loki's suffering, and that wasn't an acceptable answer, not for Odin, but Thor didn't know what other answer he could give. He was not like Loki. He could not say that his actions were meant to be more than they seemed.

Perhaps if he explained it all plainly, from the start.

On his bed beside Mjolnir, a formal tunic had been laid out for him, red with gold embroidery. Though he didn't remember calling for it, it was clean and convenient, and smelled faintly of the flowers in his mother's garden. He pulled it on first and took Mjolnir's haft again. He would do what he could. He had no more time to brood on this.

--

He went directly to his father's chambers, barely noting that the guards were missing this morning. Odin was waiting for him. Thor just caught the movement of his hand as he rested it against the arm of his chair, and the tension in his fingers as they closed about it.

He knew this was not court, but he dropped to one knee automatically and set Mjolnir between them.

"Father," He swallowed, head bowed, feeling all at once young and small under Odin's gaze. "I know that I have been foolish and arrogant - I have disobeyed you." He cursed the clumsiness of his tongue, but forged on. "I will explain it all and bear any punishment but please, father, I am solely responsible for my decisions. I..."

"You are responsible for your decisions," Odin agreed, and Thor's head jerked upward before he could help himself. "But that does not mean that you will be the only one to bear out the consequences, regardless of whether you have been foolish or wise." Odin's eye narrowed at him, forestalling the protest that rose to his tongue. "Regardless of whether it is just or necessary. It will not wait until you are king."

This caught him off guard. He didn't know what Odin meant. Thor's own eyes narrowed. "Father, with all due respect - A king can do as he pleases, especially when it is just. Asgard is strong."

"You would start a war over this?" Odin shot back sharply, and Thor dropped his gaze, the sting of guilt and shame as vivid as a lash. "A king does what he must. A boy does as he pleases." Odin's next words were quiet, tinged with something he didn't quite understand. "You're not a boy any longer, Thor Odinson."

Some other time, the words would have brought him pride, or he would have argued that he had not been a boy for some time, but now they seemed to settle on his shoulders like stones. He was not a king yet, either, but this was what it meant. It was not just punishment - Odin had been unwilling to risk war, and that made him unable to protect his own sons. In time, Thor would face the same sort of choice: those he loved, or those who were sworn to him. Being King would not be a grand freedom. It would be this.

In time, every action would be borne by all of Asgard.

The weight of it seemed suddenly stifling.

Odin's gaze lifted, narrowing at the door as if he saw something Thor did not. Thor knew that look. He rose automatically, but Odin raised a hand to forestall him and gestured once. "Stay, and be silent."

He moved to stand behind his father, Mjolnir heavy in his hands, and for once did as he was told without protest. They were not finished yet. He turned wearily to the door, not sure if he hoped the interruption would be quick or never ending.

[complicatedliar]

Loki strode into his father's chambers with far more confidence than he actually felt. He caught sight of Thor immediately, standing behind his father's shoulder. It was impossible to miss him. Loki's eyes narrowed, and there was a slight hesitation in one step, but he'd come to far to let his composure be ruined now.

He knew what he needed to do. However unpleasant the situation, Loki refused to leave any project unfinished. And what he finished would damn well stay finished. And if Thor tried to interfere again... well, Loki was calm enough now that magic was most definitely an option.

Loki paused in front of Odin and briefly dropped to one knee before standing. "Father."

Odin's face gave nothing away. "Loki."

Loki schooled his expression in to one of spoiled arrogance. "I can't imagine what sort of deliciously noble yet horribly clumsy lie Thor has told you, Father, but I thought you might like the truth now that I can miraculously speak again."

He met Odin's gaze for a moment, and he was certain that, like before, their father knew. But he would let the performance continue. "By all means, tell me your side." There was no mistaking dry note in Odin's voice.

"To begin with, I wagered Mjolnir with the dwarves. I hadn't really expected them to be able to count, which is why it all went a bit wrong. A miscalculation on my part." As he spoke this lie, his voice careless as if it didn't matter, he looked at Thor, meeting his brother's eyes. "I'm not surprised the dwarves didn't mention this to you in their tale of woe, considering they should have known better than to listen to me. But I suppose we've all learned something valuable."

Still no change in Odin's expression. Loki knew that he shouldn't expect one. He swallowed down a surge of nerves. It was too late to turn back now. It had been too late since yesterday.

"After your most just punishment was meted upon me," he didn't bother hiding the bitterness in his voice there, and at this point he found he could no longer look at his brother, "dear Thor felt so tragic about the entire ordeal that I easily... convinced him he ought to bend your orders a bit. A few tears, some whimpering, that sort of thing. I do feel a bit bad about that, Father, but I've a pretty face and didn't want to see it ruined."

This time, there was the slightest of twitches at Odin's lips. "And this is your story, Loki."

"This is the truth. Sadly, just another of those messes I so relish creating." He finally looked at Thor again, putting a careful note of disdain in his expression. "And I do so appreciate my big brother trying to protect me, but it's gotten a bit embarrassing."

"Do you understand the choice you are making?" Odin's tone was surprisingly soft.

Loki met his father's eye for a moment, then looked away. His carefully crafted expression faded, though he at least didn't show more than a hint of the uncertainty that filled him. "I believe so." A smile ghosted across his lips. "Though if you ask me tomorrow, perhaps I will be less certain."

[thunders]

Thor's eyes widened slightly, his gaze meeting Loki's before dropping to his healed lips, catching the stutter in his step. He shouldn't be here, not yet. He couldn't tell if Sif had managed to find his brother or not, and couldn't guess which of them had finished the healing, but it was done now, and something like fear curled tightly in his chest.

He knew where Loki's lies would lead, so much smoother than Thor's own clumsy truth. He might have broken Odin's command for silence before Loki could finish speaking, but Loki wasn't looking at their father - he was looking at Thor. It was not unlike kneeling before him in court the previous evening. His eyes held the same resolve, and the request for Thor to shut up.

He shook his head. He didn't want this, couldn't do this. Not again.

Do you understand the choice you are making?

Though the words were not directed at him, he thought of them, lips slightly parted on the beginnings of a protest. He watched Loki's expression as it shifted into something more true. He felt the weight of this moment too; whether he should speak or remain silent, it would cost something.

Thor's hands closed tightly, calloused fingers digging into his palm and Mjolnir's haft. He had never felt so powerless as he did within the trappings of court politics. He was not a boy anymore, and neither was Loki.

Thor swallowed once. "Don't do this, brother, please. You've done enough."

[shield_maiden]

Her first hunt for Thor hadn't given her many results, but it had gotten her a lot of strange looks. Postponing her search, Sif slipped back to the suite of rooms she had in the palace, taking several minutes to clean up and change into clothing that hadn't been slept in or bled on.

Feeling more herself, she started up again, but it didn't take her long to figure out where Thor had landed himself, not with the way the bright afternoon sun had vanished behind a roiling fury of stormclouds. Altering her course brought her out into the training courtyard just as thunder rumbled threateningly overhead. It drew her gaze upwards a moment before looking back as her prince let his might hammer fly, obliterating one of the training dummies with a blow.

She applauded the move softly, striding casually towards him as the hammer flew unerringly back to his grip, her expression thoughtful.

"Getting acquainted, are we?"

[thunders]

Thor thought of letting Mjolnir fly again. It slid lower in his grasp, still humming with unspent power, as if it echoed his unhappiness, but he shook his head once and turned to Sif as she approached.

His shoulders were squared, the tension in them obvious. He had stalked right out after the incident with Loki, so he hadn't even thought to go hunting for a healing crystal. His knuckles and face were bloody, and he breathed too heavily, only partially from exertion.

"It isn't wise to be in my company right now, Lady Sif."

[shield_maiden]

"Since when has that ever stopped me?" Sif returned with a casual shrug and an arch of one eyebrow as she studied him, unperturbed by his obvious bad mood. "You're causing a scene, you know. And on the afternoon of your mother's garden tea. Probably not wise, my prince."

She continued to saunter towards him, stopping when only an arm's length separated them. She tilted her head back to peer up into his face, mildly annoyed that he was still more than a head taller than her. He reminded her at the most aggravating times.

"I take it Loki found you," she guessed, her voice softer now. She knew this particular flavor of frustration all too well.

Three weeks later

[complicatedliar]

A little more than three weeks later, Loki returned to the court. He simply appeared at breakfast one day as if it was no different from any other, calmly eating a bowl of fruit next to his mother.

It caused a stir, of course. But after three weeks, a lot of momentum had been lost on the gossip about his public punishment. And since he wasn't horribly disfigured, there was the expected hissing about him being a dishonest magician and a cheat, but it wasn't nearly as good for fodder as a few horrible scars would have been.

And if any of it bothered Loki or even reached his ears, he gave absolutely no sign. He gave the gossips no help by being annoyingly, persistently normal in every thing he did.

Well, nearly everything. He still seemed quite adept at avoiding Thor when there wasn't a large crowd around them. But that wasn't something anyone but Thor, Sif, and the Warriors knew. Loki had always been adept at escaping activities he didn't like and making it seem like a natural occurrence.

But even Loki knew that he couldn't avoid his brother forever.

It wasn't that he was angry any more. That had bled off for the most part after the first few days. The satisfaction of having broken Thor's nose had helped a little with that. The worst of the nightmares had ceased as well.

There was no logical reason behind it, and Loki could quietly admit that to himself. But logical or no, he had done his best to place Thor at the same polite distance he kept everyone in the court at. Distance was safe. Distance meant that no one could hurt you unless you were foolish enough to let them.

And he also knew it was illogical, to think that he could act as he had implied he would, as Thor's under hand. Not with that distance intact. But he was beginning to doubt his conviction there, as well. Nothing felt right any more. His life no longer seemed to fit, and all that alteration had required was a needle and a little bit of twine.

Re: Three weeks later

[thunders]

It had been a long three weeks. A hunting trip with the Warriors had taken him out of the palace for two, but even when he returned, Loki had not. Thor knew that he would eventually, when he chose to, but it had not stopped him from walking on nights when he did not wish to dream and finding the empty places where his brother normally hid.

The tone of this fight had been different from all others before it, in that it felt like suddenly everything had changed, or come into a far harsher light. He was not given to thinking deeply but nights were long, and he brooded on it.

These court games... Odin too played them, and he needed no aid, no scapegoat for his foolishness. He had his father's strength, perhaps, but none of his wisdom - and that was dangerous to all that he held dear. He would have no choice but to learn more of this. A task easier thought of than accomplished.

When Loki finally returned, the distance between them seemed not to have lessened at all. They exchanged formal pleasantries on the rare chance that Thor managed to meet him in a crowd, but he was unwilling to corner his brother before the court, and Loki avoided him otherwise. It was utterly maddening, and perhaps something more sharply painful as well.

It did not take long for him to lose patience with it. After dinner one evening he followed his brother directly out into the hall, and reached to catch his arm before he could turn a corner and be gone again.

"Loki, enough." The words were sharper than he intended, but sounded like a plea all the same. "Will you avoid me until the end of days?"

Re: Three weeks later

[complicatedliar]

Loki went stiff for a moment, eyes going wide, and then as quickly as it had happened the expression was gone. He turned to face his brother, a look of polite interest on his face. "Fancy meeting you like this," he said, his tone mild, with just the right amount of added bewilderment. "Have I been avoiding you? I've simply had a lot of details to see to since my return. I'm very sorry if I've given you the wrong impression because of it."